The rain in NSW has been absolutely torrential the last few days.
Just.. bucketing down!
My wife's family came over today as her grandparents needed some help getting their COVID certificates setup through the ServiceNSW app. I think we'll be able to do that process in our sleep considering how many people we've help get going.
All rain and no walking makes Jacob something something...
I've still been doing streching but it just hasn't hit the spot quite right.
Toddler went to daycare today and bub has really been lifting his head so good! We even saw a couple of smiles out of his this evening. I love these children with a love I never thought I could have.
Doing some big compliance tasks at work this week to get ready for and upcoming audit in a few months. The quicker we can improve these processes and build good habits, the better. I'd very much like for the audit to pass with flying colours. Feeling quite inspired after I wrote an interface to the Graph API so we can now programmatically rename and move files; A whole new world of automation has been opened.
Found out this evening that my car's rego has been expired for a couple of days. Lucky I haven't been driving at all, and when I have I've used the van instead.
Rain, rain, go away, come again another day.
I've been very slack with my TODO book that I've been using since the start of September. It's curious how many of my habits have a foundation in the morning walk habit: Waking early, filling out TODO book, writing the start of this entry (I'm filling this out the next day).
Still more compliance work today. Writing PHP scripts to analyse filenames, dates, folders and folders and folders. It's fun in a nerdy way.
Went to the in-laws for dinner for homemade pizzas, yum!
I saw some rays of sun through the clouds this morning... Adopt some hope, ye who live here!
Spent most of the day in the office. Mother-in-law came by for lunch and we both enjoyed a delicious smash burger and chips. The Real Kiosk is smashing it!
Toddler went to a birthday party this evening so I had a couple of hours of alone time. It was very quiet... Almost too quiet. Nah.. It was awesome.
Getting the point where it seems like we may not see a day without rain for a month. I'm feeling a bit despondent as my clothes are a bit tighter due to the lack fo daily exercise. My relationship with food has become out of control and I need to really make more healthy eating decisions.
Went to my parent's for lunch today with toddler. Dad showed me some VHS videos he had digitised, including a soccer gala day with my under 7's soccer team in 1997.
Good friend came to stay tonight and I made spaghetti carbonara. Well, spirals carbonara because we had no spaghetti left. I've pretty much got the process down-pat and very happy with the outcome.
I got on the scales tonight. 150kg. Fuck. I've finally hit the point I really hoped I wouldn't. No wonder I don't feel comfortable in any clothes. I'm wearing 7XLs now for fuck sake.
Enough is enough. I want to get healthy. I want to get healthy for myself and for my family. I'm not a young man anymore and it's showing. Things hurt more, things take longer. I'm scared that I won't be able to run around after my children if this continues.
To keep myself accountable, I will begin doing daily weigh-ins every morning. I'm also going for a walk tomorrow regardless of weather, I can't fuckin' deal with not doing it anymore. I don't care how wet I will get.
5:30 the alarm goes off. Wow, already. Shit. It's early. My brain goes through a catalogue of excuses; It's raining outside, it's warm in bed, that dream was enjoyable. Nope. Fuck you thoughts, we're getting up and going.
Went outside to the sound of rain falling gently on rooftops. I did my stretches and went for a 1km walk. It started to rain quite heavily near the end of the walk but I did not speed up my stride. A bit of rain doesn't matter, there's bigger things to care about right now. My breathing, my incredible family. That's what's important to think about right now.
Feeling good that I achieved that. Tired, but good.
Weigh in at 10:06am was 147.5kg.
Toddler off to daycare today so it's a good day to get a few hours of undistracted work in.
Went quite well with the eating today. I had a cheese stringer, some pecan nuts and pickles for lunch and a taco salad for dinner. There have been thoughts of eating throughout the day but it's easy to identify them as wanting food rather than the need to sate hunger. Drinking plenty of water also.
My alarm went off this morning, I got up to get ready to go for a walk, the rain did not sound like it was falling too torrentially. Toddler waltzed out of his room and decided he wanted to sleep with me. So I went back to bed. In hindsight I should have tried to settle him in his bed instead.
Weigh in at 9:04am was 145.2kg. It's incredible how there's been such a fluctuation in weight. Granted I did the original weigh-in at the end of the day after consuming lots of food.
I made some fried eggs, bacon and mushroom for lunch. It was pretty yummy! Made some chicken breast stuffed with feta and baby spinach with a mushroom and bacon sauce for dinner. My body feels good eating this way. I don't feel as lethargic (even without exercise) and my mood seems to be better regulated. However, this could just be because I have something that is motivating me and I'm still in the honeymoon phase of this approach to nutrition.
Went for a walk this morning. My brain was thinking of excuses but I pushed past them and outside. Only a short one as I want to build up to where I was before. The clouds don't need as ominous today, I even see some patches of sky admist the grey smears.
Toddler off to daycare again today. He's great on drop-off now, no crying and basically runs inside. It's getting to the point where he needs a bit of coaxing to come give me a cuddle to say goodbye!
Weigh in at 9:34am was 145.3kg.
Went in to lodge my NDIS Screening Check at Service NSW today. Seems like a pretty straight-forward process.
Also went on a shopping trip for a new lamp for my office. I love living my lamp-light during the night. Ceiling lights make me uneasy, too harsh.
I stayed up programing in a flow state for work until 1am. Woopsie. That meant no morning walk for me, despite the weather being great.
Weigh-in at 9:02am was 144.3kg.
Went into the office today and saw something so odd in the sky... It was large and radiated light and heat. What is this mysterious thing? Ended up having some great, productive conversations. Landed a new contract, yahoo! Energy was electric in the office today, great culture. Ate a keto bar and some cheese for lunch.
Wife made a delcious dinner of pork rashers, steamed veggies with cheese sauce and fried mushroom/spinach. I'm so happy she's on board for this approach to nutirition.
Toddler was challenging again today. He's such a toddler.
Brain did not feel like walking this morning. It did some shenanigans. Naughty semi-conscious mind, naughty!
Weigh in at 9:16am was 143.7kg. The weight loss has been surprising, I'm feeling much less bloated and do not have desire for snack foods or anything. It's amazing how when you stop eating the processed crap, you have less desire for the processed crap.
Went for a walk later in the morning, but silly me forgot to wear a hat and sunscreen. Do as I say and not as I do, kids. My neck hurts and I'm sweaty.
The appetite and my relationship to food has been great. I am more aware of my thoughts of food and can more easily distinguish between a real pang of hunger and just idle thoughts regarding food. For example I might be craving some chocolate, but realise I'm craving the taste of it, not any sense of satiating a physical need. It also helps to be mindful to remember the shame that comes from overindulging.
My clothes are fitting nicer thanks to losing all the carby, processed, bloat-inducing food.
Went to the in-laws and had tacos in lettuce cups. I love tacos, but it's just not the same without the soft or hard shells. A small loss in the grand scheme of things.
Work has been great lately, hitting a stride and a new staff member has come on board to help me with tech support/helpdesk type activities and it's great to have somebody to talk to on an IT level.
I felt like doing a fret tonight but did not want to use one of the webapps I had used in the past. A bit of searching led me to the fantastic PikoPixel. This is exactly what I want out of a pixel editor. I decided to do a swastika/spiral style (as opposed to 4-way mirror like last ones I've posted). These ones are more difficult because they involve more mental rotation.
Here's the result from tonight. I quite like how it has a shuriken-esque look to it.
Again my semi-conscious mind makes it own decisions. Annoyingly so.
The plan for today was to donate platelets in the morning and then do some light cleaning afterwards at home. Instead what eventuated as an issue with my donation. I felt the nurse that was hooking me up to the machine rushed things and the needle did not get inserted correctly. I was feeling kinda shitty about not being able to donate and noticed desires for emotional eating on the way home. The desire today was a double quarter pounder burger, a big mac, 2 large chips and 10 nuggets. I'm glad that this new approach to nutrition has been successful because if this had happened 2 weeks ago, chances are I would have succumb to that desire.
I made myself a low-carb meal at home (larger than normal because I still acknowledged it was an emotional meal), watched The Adam Project, which was really great, highly recommend it. It hit me hard in the dad-feels. Then I had a nap. My wife had the kids at the inlaws as her extended family were visiting.
Went out for dinner tonight because it was my brother-in-laws 19th birthday. I had a beef, barley and carrot soup for entree and rump steak and greens for dinner. I avoided as much of the barley in the soup as possible, but did not beat myself up over consuming a few of them. Watching everyone else have hot chips but not eat them made me feel irrationally annoyed for some odd reason.
I forgot to set my alarm tonight so did not go for a walk. It's getting to the 4th day in a row which is starting to feel embarassing. I went for a walk after lunch instead which went really well.
Weigh in at 10:44am was 144.5kg. Weight has plateaud by that was expected as I have eaten some bigger portions in the last couple of days. I have made an agreement with myself to only eat when my stomach starts to rumble, and to be mindful of the amount I am going to eat.
Made a yummy breakfast lunch with bacon, eggs, haloumi, mushrooms and avocado. Fat overload. Didn't feel hungry for the rest of the day.
The weekend seemed to go by way too quickly.
It's a cool morning, 5:30 strikes, the alarm rings. I wake up with a fright and jump out of bed. I will walk today. I will.
And I did, and it felt great.
Reading posts on Reddit this morning about the staggering increase in the price of food and it has me feeling worried. Our food bill has also increased significantly. I remember seeing cauliflours at Aldi earlier in the week at $9/kg. It got me wondering if they were out of season or not. Turns out they are out of season, but still, I won't be purchasing them at that price.
I was curious about the seasonality of other fruits and veggies, so I made a little 30 minute project: Australian Fruit & Vegetable Seasonality.
Weigh in at 9:51am was 144.6kg. My scales are laughably inaccurate and unpredictable. I have tiles throughout my house and using the scales at different locations yields differant results; As much as 2kg difference. Not even moving the scales, just shifting my weight slightly on the scales themselves yields different results.
The compliance work at RLA continues, and one thing that crops up often is people sending through photos of documents, which are a pain in the ass to keep organised. There are a multitude of programs on Windows that try and upsell you with premium features, but then there's good old ImageMagick and the glorious
convert command. Holy shit
convert is amazing:
convert *.jpg output.pdf
And that's it; No GUI, no paywall, no bullshit. mwah. Thankyou ImageMagick developers.
We really have to pull our fingers out and budget our money better. We had under $100 before payday tomorrow which is worrying. We can blame inflation, which definitely contributes, but we also need to stop spending frivolously. It seems that my Pepsi Max addiction is coming to an end through economic necessity.
I was really tired last night and passed out half an hour earlier than usual. I slept heavier as well. I don't know if I forgot to set myself or if I slept right through it because I awoke a bit after 8 with toddler giggling and putting toys under my blanket. Love that child.
I weighed myself numerous times at different locations and averaged it out to 143.9kg today. While the numbers on the scale aren't that significant, it's still nice to see some progression.
Drank a lot of tea today as I have no Pepsi Max. It's just not the same. I guess my body has to get used to not having those strange chemicals being put in it.
Started a new staff member on my team today. It's exciting to be able to defer work to him but also scary as I've never officially managed someone before.
Made a pretty decent chicken breast stuffed with feta and spinach this evening. Wife made a yummy cheese sauce that went over our steamed veggies. This low carb approach is really hitting a good stride.
Again rain started pouring around 5am so my semi-conscious mind had a convenient excuse for not waking. Argh. It's a tough battle.
The scales averaged me at 143.1kg. Wow!
Toddler has been a real challenge today. Everything is replied with a no, and he isn't interested in his usual routine. He has begun hitting us when he doesn't get what he wants and he runs around crying and laughing at the same time. Oh boy if I wasn't patient before, I am now.
I was eating dinner and put on my usual spicy sauce, and had a glance at the ingredients: Red Jalapenos, Vinegar, Salt. Only 3 ingredients, wow! Why am I paying $9 a bottle when surely I can do this myself. I've never been a green thumb, but this is just the kind of motivation I need to start.
No rain but still excuses. I think I need to make more of a ritual the night before to prime my semi-conscious mind in the morning; Putting my walking clothes out, getting my Mp3 player, putting my vitamins out. I'll give that a go.
Weigh in at 9:12am was 143.0kg.
Walked to the local shops as a family today so we at least got some exercise in!
Work was work today. I'm getting a bit fatigued on the compliance stuff currently but it's so good to have someone else there to take care of the day-to-day helpdesk tasks.
Still thinking about growing those jalapenos and making that sauce. I had a dream about it last night actually. Here are some resources:
My friend who is a green thumb has said she will help me set things up, woohoo!
Only had 2 teas for the whole day. I honestly thought the withdrawals for Pepsi Max would be worse but they haven't been too bad.
Did a fret:
I may have to setup a page dedicated just to these. Perhaps even something where the page background is a smaller version that is repeated.
Looks like getting my things together last night did the trick. I woke up 15 minutes before my alarm and sleepily tip-toed out, got ready and went for a decent walk. Came back dripping in sweat and frantically tip-toeing as nature decided it wanted to call just before the hill up to my house. All-in-all, feeling great for pushing myself to do it.
8:34am weight in: 142.8kg
Bit of a scramble at work today, figuring out things that needed to be done. God I love and hate the flexibility of spreadsheets.
My folks came around for dinner and I made some chicken thighs folded over with feta and baby spinach inside and some steamed veggies with cheese sauce. Yum yum! They brought some Pepsi Max with them and I drank a can. To my surprise it didn't taste as good as I thought it would. I was expected some sort of mouth-orgasm but really it was just this kind of strange tasting thing that made me more thirsty.
Pissing down again this morning so no walk early in the morning. I went for a small walk with toddler later in the morning as he was being a little turd; Tried to help him get some energy out before his nap.
Bacon and eggs for brunch.
Went and picked up a new lounge set from my friend's parents that had bought themselves a new set. They are great quality and we thank them very much. They were also kind enough to give me some chillis that had been growing in their backyard. I pickled them in the only jar I had available (which is way too large).
The plan is to let this pickle for at least a week, then remove the chillis, pop them in a food processor, chuck them in a little saucepan with some heat and slowly add back the pickling juice until it reaches a nice consistency.
Started setting up a laptop for work on Monday. All I can say is: Fuck Windows 11. What a pointless redesign for redesign's sake.
Friend came over in the evening and we whipped together a mince, veggie & cheese casserole.
Seems like I procrastinated on getting migrated from Dreamhost so I'm going to pony up the costs for another year of hosting with them. $212 AUD per year. Ouch.
Stayed up a bit late last night so I didn't get out for a walk in the morning.
Weigh in at 10:34am was between 142.3kg to 143.1kg. I'm going to eyeball it at 142.7kg.
Bacons and eggs again. So happy I can eat these with this approach to nutrition.
It was a nice and sunny day today so we got some chores done around the house.
Continued along with the laptop provision (fuck win 11) and an iPhone (fuck iPhones as well).
Started thinking about the APH Streams project and expanding it to include state government streams as well.
Did a tiny fret tonight. This time the filled in area has been mirrored on opposite sides. In this particular example, the top-left and lower-right quadrants are mirrored exactly, with top-right and bottom-left with the white and black pixels reversed.
I've been thinking about this website a bit today as well. It needs a refresh or at least an update of some sort. Dark mode still looks horrendous and overall it just doesn't feel consistent. The sitemap is still a bit funky and the RSS could do with an update as well. One thing I would like to implement is incremental builds. Currently I just upload the entire website each time I make a post, but it would be nice to only generate the files that have changed.
I put the stuff out for walking last night, my alarm was set. I got up at 5:30 and just fell back into bed. My son come in shortly after and we slept until 8. It's disappointing that I didn't get up but I guess I must have needed it if I slept until 8. It was also nice to have cuddles.
Weigh-in at 8:15am was averaged to 141.9kg. At this pace I'll be under 140kg in a week or so! I haven't been under 140kg for at least 3 years now.
Work was a bit frantic this morning. The Casenote Processor was having some issues this morning, mostly Onedrive related. Had a tasty greek salad for lunch. Lasagne was being served out of the Kiosk and oh damn did that look delicious as hell.
Did some more research on a viable email alterantive to Google. Microsoft, Zoho, MXRoute and Migadu are all potential candidates.
Yahoo, went for the walk!
Weigh in at 8:49am is 141.8kg. Seeing the flicker of 139.9 as the scales figured things out made me feel so joyful. It's amazing how losing just a little bit of weight has had such an impact already: I've used my asthma inhaler far less, my mind has been clearer and moving in general is easier. I think 150kg was a sort of limit for my body. I just did 2 pushups and I didn't get wrist pain when giving it a go.
Work was hectic again, but that seems to be a common trend.
Had Indian for lunch, so good. I ate such a substantial meal that I easily skipped dinner.
Made some good progress towards getting NSW parliament streams added to the "APH Streams" site (which will probably renamed Parliament Streams).
Bub was being a total Klingon today so I'm exhausted from doing the chores of myself and my wife while he was attached to her.
Walked again and feel great. I don't think I've done 2 mornings in a row for a while.
8:35am weigh-in at 141.2kg. Awww yeah. My progress so far has me feeling confident which is influencing other areas of my life.
Toddler to school and then time to go to work. It was much the same as it has been previously. This is probably the first time since we have had the Wollongong office that I will be in the office every single day of the week. I'm really starting to carve a groove as a manager which is promising.
Made a yummy dinner tonight consisting of chicken breasts sliced down the middle, opened up with aluminium foil and partly cooked. I then put in a mixture of bacon, mushroom, baby spinach and tomato and sprinkled parmesan cheese on top. We had steamed veggies with a cheese sauce on the side. The low carb approach to nutrition seriously rocks.
A friend told me about Semantle today and it's a really fun and challenging game, check it out!
Boom. Trifecta! My semi-conscious brain was really rolling out the excuses to stay in bed but I told it to shut up and get moving.
Weighed in at 9:01am and was 140.3kg. Holy shit this weight is seemingly melting off. Granted I did this weigh-in naked as opposed to lightly clothed for my others.
Biiiig meeting at work today. Much discussion, many decision.
The chillis that had been pickling had sunk inside their brine so I took that as a signal that they were ready to process. I extracted the chillis and whizzed it in a food processor a few times. I then put the chilli into a sauce pan with some olive oil. After it fried a bit, I slowly started to add the brine, keeping it at a rolling boil until it had all poured in the saucepan. I added a heaped teaspoon of raw sugar. I let it simmer for about 10 minutes and turned off the heat. I mixed in 2 tablespoons of corn starch until the sauce thickened. I then ran it through a sieve back into the brine jar.
I had a taste and .... woah, a new hobby is born! I want to make way more of this stuff.
This sauce is delicious, spicy and an enjoyable consistency. It reminded me of a commercial sauce I'd had before but I can't quite remember which one.
Before I do this again I need to change a few things:
- Get a portable stove and do this outside. My poor wife and toddler were coughing the entire time.
- Measure things more clearly and note them down
- Get a funnel to pour through the sieve (and other utensils. Wife suggested to buy them in red so we can differentiate between them and everyday stuff)
- Get better sauce bottles to put it in
We are packing tonight for our weekend away down at Mogo so next week I will be starting the journey of growing chillis.
I had planned to go to the Dragon's game tonight at WIN Stadium but unfortunately Mum came back positive for COVID this morning so dad has to self-isolate for a week.
Oh well, here's another spiral fret:
It's raining this morning so no walk, damn.
I'm on annual leave today, and it's so strange to not be doing work. It's refreshing but strange. We're going to Mogo today so this morning is filled with packing the car and getting ready to go.
We didn't actually go to Mogo today, we were staying at a place near Bateman's Bay.
The drive went well, bub slept the entire way and toddler was surprisingly chill.
I decided to drink some alcohol tonight and for dinner had some crumbed salt and pepper squid. Big mistake. My body is not used to the carbs and alcohol so I was up a few times during the night going to the toilet. I won't be making that mistake again.
Bacon, eggs and mushrooms for breakfast. Now that's more the food my body needs.
We went to Mogo wildlife park today. Toddler loved watching the animals and laughed in joy while feeding the giraffes. We went into Mogo to do some shopping and I got a fritatta for lunch, luckily it was the last we that had in stock.
We went out to a local club for dinner and I got some rump steak and salad.
No alcohol for me tonight; Slept much better.
We packed up early and left at 10am. Back to reality now and watching the casenotes roll in.
I learned not to eat crumbed food, even just a little bit because it makes me feel shitty the next day (literally and metaphorically).
Went to in-laws for dinner. Pork roast yum yum!
No walk, bloody rain.
Weighed in at 10:27am and was 141.5kg. Looks like I ate a bit too much on the weekend. I will go on a longer fast this week.
Migrating to a new Sharepoint List today. Racking my brain with nerves to get this one right.
My wife's dog has been really ill lately and the vet today said the best option is euthenasia so that's happening tomorrow. It's going to be a rough while.
The fasting didn't go as expected today. I still ate within my means but I could definitely tell the urges to emotionally eat were strong today. I think it's stress from the Sharepoint migration. I find I want to just eat to get my mind off the stress and my brain tries to convince me that "getting away" from the problem with some food will help. Bad brain, bad!
I've put out my walking gear and I endeavour to get out there in the morning. I wore a shirt this evening that I haven't worn in over a year and when I looked at myself in the mirror I didn't feel like a walking sack of buldges. I want more of that feeling!
Woke up and there was the occassional raindrop on the roof. The semi-conscious brain tried to take advantage but luckily the bladder had other ideas. After I was up for a minute or two I decided to go for a walk even though it was raining. It was only a very small walk but a walk nonetheless.
The weigh in at 9:58am was 139.9kg. Wahoo! Under 140. Very happy with the result this morning.
Toddler did swimming today, little guy needs to work on his big arms! He'll get there.
Work was work, bloody printers have a mind of their own. It wasn't working until I got there and suddenly it did again!
It was a solemn evening as my wife's dog was euthanised. She is going to get a tattoo of her paw and get her ashes in a beautiful urn.
Bit of a hectic day today so I didn't get around to writing anything.
Didn't walk, forgot to weigh-in, made a delicious frittata for dinner.
Went for a decent walk this morning. Thankfully the rain decided to stay away in the morning.
Weigh in at 7:42am was 139.9kg. Weight has not been dripping off like when I first started but that is to be expected. I have to start exercising more and be mindful of fasting periods. Everything about moving through life is dramatically easier with 10kg less bulk and I'm hopeful of what life will be like with a further 10kg removed from my frame.
My wife and I have binge-watched the 2nd season of Bridgerton over the past few days. I really enjoy the trashy, gossipy nature of it.
Tonight I made a Tuscan-style chicken dish with some fried veggies with butter and lemon juice. Yummo.